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“Not Tonight Dear, I Have a Disaster on Work"

“Not tonight dear, I have a disaster on work, and my boss is gonna kill me if I wouldn’t do something until the end of the week”. And the man tries to sleep quietly on his side of the bed, and his woman stops in astonishment and doesn’t know what’s going on. For her it’s like saying: Come on, honey, you don’t turn me on any more, go to sleep. Or: I don’t want you any more, you are too fat. And something like that.

Interesting to know, men also experience low sexual desire at some points of their lives. And there are plenty of reasons for that, the same as with women. But still there is one thing with men’s low libido that complicates the treatment all together. Men SO much don’t like to speak about their sexual desire. More over, to compare it with libido of other men. It sure violates their own sense of masculinity. Let’s try to understand the condition in men.


There are five major areas that are involved in human sexuality and sex drive. These areas greatly influence the so-called ‘normal’ or ‘average’ or ‘adequate’ desire for sex.

Psychological and Mental state of the human (men or women). The person should feel himself (or herself) balanced, self-respected and in acceptable living condition to experience sex drive.

Hormonal issue – hormones are very important components of sex drive. The central role in men plays testosterone.

Vascular issue – the most common cause of male erectile dysfunction is considered to be alterations in the flow of blood to and from the penis. Any illness that would reduce the blood flow to the penis and genital organs (as hypertension, diabetes, atherosclerosis or high cholesterol) leads to difficulty with erection, or even genital swelling.

Neural – nerve damages strongly affect the brain’s ability to respond to sexual stimulation. This is true with such illnesses as Parkinson’s disease, diabetes, multiple sclerosis and in men undergoing surgical treatment for prostate enlargement (BPH) or prostate cancer.

Chemical issue – there are chemicals that are involved in human’s sex drive or their sexual response to stimulation (dopamine, acetylcholine, and nitric oxide)

If all the areas of life are balanced and everything is ok with each point – a man experience urge for sex which is accepted as a so-called norm. If something is wrong in his life or in one of the sphere – he experience low sex drive or its absence.


What should happen to tell you that you have a low sex drive (what are signs of low libido):

A man thinks about sex or different sexual fantasies less

He is slow to initiate sex or tend to not doing it at all

He masturbates less than usual

His sexual desire reduces

If he really wants someone the directions given by his mind are not accepted and not followed by the other organs

A man doesn’t react to attractiveness of a woman (in case he is a heterosexual man)

During petting or foreplay he doesn’t react to stimulating touching of erogenous zones (penis and nipples)

He doesn’t react to sexually indicative aromas (for example women’s body odor or some perfumes) or to sexual talk

A healthy sexually aroused man in above mentioned situations will tend to have a hardened and erect penis and some fluid at the tip of the penis.


A lot of men are very embarrassed to accept the fact that they have low (or lack of) sex drive, and if do to themselves – they try to pretend that they are all right and as a result fail during the sexual intercourse.

To help the man to overcome the condition the reasons (or the causes) should be indicated first of all. As treating the condition without paying attention to the root of the problem gives a temporary result or doesn’t give any. As well as with women the causes of men’s low libido are physical conditions and psychological problems.

Physical causes:

Hormones! Androgens, such as testosterone, are a major component of sex drive. Each year the level of this hormone declines in one percent in men. With age more and more men experience low libido. Taking proscribed medication to increase testosterone levels may help. For this purpose there are also some over the counter hormones, such as DHEA and pregnenolone, they are converted into testosterone and thus increase sex drive. Though, don’t forget about the other side of taking the hormones – side effects. Natural herbs give at this point much safer alternative option.

Post-baby issue. There are many families and many variation of this problem. For some men to feel sexual desire to woman that is from now on a mother of his child (if the child is the first one) is rather hard ‘family duty’. For other a new way of life when you, as a man, are no longer the center of the Earth is a call. For some different financial issues that are connected with ‘one more mouth’ in family are rather new and stressing. Plus different hormonal changes in your wife’s body as well as in her mood. Yes… These all lower your desire. The most common situation is that after the child is born women are too exhausted to think about sex and men are too exhausted to initiate sex without any response thus feeling themselves like maniacs or beasts.

Male Menopause (Andropause). The male version of menopause is usually lengthier and lasts 15 to 20 years. About 40% of men after 40 (up to 60) experience some mild or major symptoms of andropause: depression, increased irritability, some degree of lethargy, mood swings, and difficulty in attaining and sustaining erections. Good news is that over 40% of men remain sexually active at 70 years of age and beyond. But for those who experience differently – you should know what to expect and what to do. What increases your chances to experience andropause?

·  surgical removal of or surgical injury to the testes and male reproductive tract

·  diseases when the immune system attacks and destroys the testes (variations of systemic lupus erythematosis)

·  viral infections (mumps)

·  subtle genetic abnormalities

·  generalized vascular diseases (diabetes, pituitary tumors (rare) and chemotherapy)

·  excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, poor diet, lack of exercise

·  prescription and non-prescription medications

·  hypertension, poor circulation

·  different psychological problems

The common symptoms of the condition along with low sex drive and reduced potency are the same as with women (fatigue, joint aches, sleep disturbances, hot flashes, irritability, weight gain and others). The treatment for this condition is testosterone replacement therapy (though it increases the risk of prostate cancer), DIM (di-indolmethane or indole-3-Carbinol) and rather effective amino acid carnitine (acetyl-L-Carnitine), that gives more effective and safer results that testosterone replacement therapy in increasing sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, erectile function, nocturnal penile tumescence and even the increase in orgasm and general sexual well-being. Natural effective methods of treatment with proved results are book reading and herbal remedies.

Illnesses. Every illness decreases sexual desire, especially major ones. What diseases reduces sex drive?

·  Addison's disease - adrenal glands fail to produce hormones

·  Diseases of the pituitary gland, a gland located near the brain that produces many important hormones

·  Cushing's syndrome - a condition caused by high levels of a hormone called cortisol (a famous hormone of stress) in the body over a long period of time

·  Thyroid disorders: hypothyroidism (an underactive thyroid gland), hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid gland)

·  Cancer – among psychological problem that occur when a man has a cancer there are also physical ones

·  Diabetes – it will reduce blood flow to the penis and genital organs thus leading to difficulty with erection or genital swelling. 

·  Arthritis – it causes pain and swelling in the joints, so it is rather painful to have sex (as it is too hard and painful to move). You can choose sexual positions that don't put pressure on painful joints and apply heat before sex in order to loosen joints

·  Kidney disease - may cause hormonal imbalances and nerve damage (the second one affects the brain’s ability to respond to sexual stimulation)

·  Spinal cord injury – your body generally loose the sensation

·  Epilepsy – it causes a "short circuit" in the messages sent throughout the brain

·  Hyperprolactinaemia - a rare disorder in which the pituitary gland is overactive

Alcoholism and drug abuse. Smoking. Alcoholics have lower testosterone levels and more sperm abnormalities than non-drinkers. A numerous research has proven that alcohol consumption does not improve either sex drive or performance andalcohol's negative affect on sex drive increases with age. Smoking can reduce genital blood flow.

Prescribed drugs. Many medications used to treat above mentioned diseases reduces a man’s sex drive: tranquilizers, antidepressants (to treat anxiety or depression), antihypertensive agents (to treat high blood pressure), and some diuretics. Also medications to treat hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol, peripheral vascular disease, cardiovascular disease, and neurologic disorders, and insomnia. SSRIs, sedatives, and beta-blockers also interfere with sex drive many men report absolutely no sex drive after these medications.

Psychological causes:

Men are so ashamed of speaking up about low sexual desire that they it becomes their best-kept secret. Very often (and in practice more and more often) their low sex drive often has little to do with hormones or biology and a lot to do with the women in their lives.

Depression and relationship problems with your partner. To be more precise – men are angry with their wives and they are always unsatisfied with everything. Not enough money, not enough attention, time for her and for your common children. Even if he is one of the best husbands – his wife could be just a constant complainer and doesn’t appreciate what he does for her. According to the researches patients with major depressive disorder or bipolar disorder have a very high prevalence of sexual dysfunction, including lowered sex drive, than the general population.

Overwhelming daily responsibilities and financial concerns. Bills may pile up and cause financial worries, and this will certainly lead to low sex drive.

Stress, fear and performance anxiety. Anxiousness and fear over an ability to perform in bed (do I really look and act like a Casanova?) or to satisfy a partner (Is she having an orgasm? Was it an orgasm already?) may cause that you won’t be able to enjoy the process any more. Stress on work (as well as overworking) can lead you to thought about your new project or undone work everyother minute, so no space for sex thought is left.

Past sexual abuse or rape. Men do not talk about that! At all. For a woman to start talking about the problem is more like a treatment already. For a man – it’s experiencing it one more time and feeling abused and crushed again and again. Counseling for men is extremely different from that of women, but is very important and valuable.

Medical Approaches

For men there are no medicines available that will increase male libido, there are only for successful erection - drugs for erectile dysfunction

Oral drugs

All the available drugs contain different active ingredients that enhance the actions of the chemical messengers responsible for producing an erection and thus ‘produce’ the erection. This means that sexual stimulation is required for it to produce and maintain an erection. The dose should be taken at least 30 minutes before intended intercourse, and it may produce an erection in response to sexual stimulation from 5 up to 36 hours after taking the dose. Levitra and Viagra should not be used by elderly men and some other health dysfunctions.

· Cialis – contains an active ingredient tadalafil  - take 10mg or 20mg tablets30 minutes before sex  and have you result for 36 hours after dose

· Levitra – contains vardenafil  - take 5mg, 10mg or 20mg tablets25 minutes to 1 hour before sex (works 4-5 hours)

· Viagra – contains sildenafil  - take 25mg, 50mg or 100mg tablets1 hour before sex (works 3-4 hours)

All these drugs should not be used more than ones a day and preferably not every day.

Penis drugs

These drugs increase blood flow into the penis and cause an erection.

· MUSE - is administered by application into the opening at the end of the penisor used as a penis injection. The needed dose is 5 mcg, 10 mcg, 20 mcg or 40 mcg injection into the penis shaft taken (given) 10 minutes before sex. It gives 30 minutes or one hour result. It can be used no more than three times per week.

· Caverject – this is 125 mcg, 250 mcg, 500 mcg or 1000 mcg pellet inserted into the tip of the penis 10 minutes before sex. The result lasts 30 minutes to 1 hour. How often you can use it? No more than twice in any 24-hour period, and no more than seven times in any seven day period.

· Viridal Duo- is administered by injection directly into the penis (into the opening at the end of the penis (urethra)) - 10 mcg, 20 mcg or 40 mcg injection into the penis shaft. Take it 10 minutes before sex and have your result for one hour. Do not use it more than three times per week.

Mechanical aids

· Vacuum pump – plastic chamber that is placed over the penis. Air is extracted using a pump, which allows blood to be drawn more effectively into the penis. It helps the blood be drawn more effectively into the penis

·  Construction ring – latex rubber or silicone ring that is fitted around the base of the erect or semi-erect penis. It causes blood to build up in the penis and maintains the erection until the ring is removed.

·  Semi-rigid (or inflatable ) penile prosthesis - surgery to insert flexible rods (or two cylinders, with a pump and fluid reservoir in the scrotum) into the shaft of the penis

· Arterial surgery – surgery to repair an injury or blockage to the arteries going to the penis

Alternative Approaches

Researches of tribestan (this is an extract of tropical flowering plant Tribulus terrestris or"puncture vine") have shown its effectiveness in increasing the body’s natural testosterone and lutenizing hormone (LH) levels, and also in increasing muscle mass during exercise by activating an enzyme associated with energy metabolism.Tribulus terrestris is also an effectiveaphrodisiac and sex booster. In several researches sexual behavior and intracavernous pressure (ICP – that refers to blood flow into the corpus cavernosa of the penis.) were studied in both normal and castrated rats.Treatment of castrated rats (with either testosterone or tribulus extract) showed improvement in sexual behavior.

Tongkat Ali is a tree native to the jungles of Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia. The roots of this tree have been traditionally used as an aphrodisiac, as well as a tonic and energy enhancer. The remedy has no side effects.

Horny goat weed (Epimedium) is a pungent ornamental herb found in Asia and the Mediterranean.Epimedium is a genus of many related plant species and some are used for medicinal purposes. They appeared to have aphrodisiac qualities. According to legend, this property was discovered by a Chinese goat herder who noticed sexual activity in his flock after they ate the weed.

Yohimbe is the name of the bark of a tall evergreen tree in western Africa known as Pausinystalia yohimbe or Corynanthe yohimbe.Yohimbe bark has been used for centuries in some western African nations for enhancement of sexual desire. It containsup to 6% total alkaloids, 10-15% of which is yohimbine. Nowadays yohimbe is available on the market in form of yohimbe bark powder, yohimbe 4%, 8% and 20% extracts. The yohimbe side effects are dose dependent. The lower the dose the safer and more effective the treatment is. Some of the side effects are mood changes, nervousness, insomnia, anxiety, nausea, urinary retention, vomiting, dilation of pupils, or skin flushing.Do not take yohimbe with any antidepressant medications or in case you have high blood pressure, heart disease (including irregular rhythm), kidney, thyroid or liver disease, a seizure disorder or stroke.

Saw palmettoand Pygeum africanum are used to maintain a healthy prostate. In case of moderate or mildprostate enlargement it appears to mild the urinary symptoms of BPH and prostate cancer. These herbs have fewer side effects than drugs used for prostate enlargement.

Other herb with common health properties that influence the prostate gland are stinging nettle, isoflavones such as genistein and daidzein, rye pollen, phytosterols such as sitosterol, and carotenoids such as lycopene.

Mucuna Pruriens (or velvet beans) contains L-Dopa which is used by the body to make dopamine, an important brain chemical involved in mood and sexuality. L-dopa and dopamine are also effective inhibitors of prolactin and increased levels of prolactin are considered to cause erection failure in males. According to the studies on men oral intake of the seeds promotes fertility and sperm production, as well as improves erection, duration of coitus, and post-coital satisfaction after the period of treatment.

Other useful sex enhancer herbs are Ashwagandha, Catuaba, Cnidium monnieri,Maca, andRhodiola Rosea.

But the most needed issue in obtaining nice sex drive for men is feeling accepted, loved and cared by their wives that completely support and understands them.

About Low Sex Drive

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2010-10-25 23:48:54
when i am going to sex i am done with 2 sacond even sometime girls touch my things i am done and sacond time its not up
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About Low Sex Drive

Low Sex Drive in Women

"Not tonight dear, I have a headache". It’s a classical phrase of women who do not ...

Low Sex Drive

Sex drive or libido is truly ‘LIFE DRIVE’ for the humanity. Men are both hands PRO this ...

Related Herbs...
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